I'm afraid of continuing to fail.  It fucking hurts.  It's demoralizing.  I really don't wanna do it any fucking more.  If history is any indicator, my only real option is not to try.  That ensures I won't fail.  Trouble is that little spark of hope, that flicker of a dream, that one last fading ember in the dying fire of optimism - it never quite goes out. 

Whiny city, bitch.

I'm 45 now, and there are far fewer days in front of me than there are behind, and it really is much easier to just sink into my reclining couch and let some form of oblivion on television lull me into a near comatose state where my inner pain and turmoil are both temporarily shoved aside in favor of some form of bullshit entertainment in high def video and digital surround sound.  

Time flies...

I finally broke down and went to see a dr (well, ok - physician's assistant) because my fucking throat was bleeding.


Ignoring the Mainstream

while I believe there is some truth in that statement, it would be more accurate to say that I just don't give a fuck about whatever happens to be mainstream most of the time.



Humiliations I've endured haven't driven me to therapy or broken me down permanently; they have served as learning experiences.  I think that's the way it should be.  



No entires since October?  Is this thing working?  Is this thing on?


I'm not looking to start some massive theology discussion, nor am I trying to hurt anyone's feelings. But..I just don't get it.

Birthday Thoughts

Fair warning; this is a rather long, entirely self-indulgent (even for me) entry.  But hopefully, it leads to a stronger resolve. 

Same Old Song and Dance

Some days it's worse than others; lately, it's been a real bitch...

New Project?

...If you're familiar with the band Hayseed Dixie, this is almost what I have in mind. I just have no desire to make everything into a bluegrass song...

Life is Short

Life really is a terminal disease...

Fire Breathing Reptile

And, I apparently still get pumped up by Godzilla...

Still Going

 So, I find myself now at a point where I really don't want to keep making the same mistakes...


I sit here watching a replay of WrestleMania 30 on the WWE network, a 44 year old fan with mixed emotions about a form of art I've loved (on and off) for roughly 28 years...

Time After Long Black Veil

If I say the name "Barry White," what comes to your mind? 

Making Memories

I guess my point is that we all have things we loved as kids that carry over...

Another Short Entry

I am officially sick and tired of winter and cold weather...

A Short Entry

The gig last Friday went quite well, and thanks to all who came out. 


There’s no going back, there’s no return - there’s just my life...

Inner Voice and Instinct

What is the difference between trusting one's instincts or listening to one's inner voice and rationalizing one's own bullshit...

Just a few Thoughts

I have a gig coming up on 2/21/14 in Madison; info is on my calendar...

Listen to your Audience

Admittedly, I would prefer to make my living as a performing singer/songwriter.  That hasn’t happened yet.  But, if I ever get to that point, I will need to remember one simple rule, perhaps above all others...

I don't wanna.

I sit here typing this when I should be working on something else, preferably something with the possibility of putting money in my pocket, but I was a struck with a severe case of the “don’t want tos.”  That’s exactly what it sounds like...

What Moves Us

I recently popped in the Blu-Ray of Rush’s latest concert film - Clockwork Angels Tour – and I found myself emotionally moved to the point of tears during the first few songs...

Sort of a Primer on Conspiracy Theories

For most, the phrase “Conspiracy Theory” brings to mind kooks wearing tin foil hats who blame the government or aliens armed with anal probes for everything wrong with the world.  However, our history is littered with examples of conspiracy theories that eventually proved to be true...


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