I started out to make this post about how horribly short life can seem, largely inspired by the passing of Ruby Dee. CNN discusses her here:
As if to add to that, I was just informed via Facebook that a man whom I never met, but knew though a forum on a web site, has also died. I see no need to name him, or to sensationalize either death at all, but they do sort of represent different ends of the same spectrum.
I don't follow mainstream news at all, but Ms. Dee's son called to tell me she had passed, and that he had been lucky enough to be with her when she drew her last breath. I'm in no rush to die, but it would be nice to have loved ones around me when it happens. She was 91, and had one hell of a career. I was able to offer her son and grandson my condolences.
As for the man I never met, I do know he was a doctor, and was just beginning that career. I'm guessing he was fairly young. Even on the board in question, we weren't "close," but he seemed like a decent enough guy. This was apparently him:
I don't know any of his friends or family, but I'm sure they're hurting, and they have my sympathy.
Life really is a terminal disease.
This is where many people will go on about how they're going to treasure every moment, live life to the fullest, and spout any number of other inspirational messages. Not me. At least, not now. I won't sit here and say that I've always done my best in my life. Sometimes I have, but most of the time, I haven't. I'm often lazy and stubborn, and truth be told, I can't quite let go of the bitterness I feel about not really being anything resembling successful with my music. Mostly, but not quite. If attachment is the root of my suffering, I am likely to always suffer at least a little over this dream.
But, here's the deal (do I need to pay Papa Chuck royalties when I use that phrase?). I think life is about balance. I can't go all out in any given direction all the time, even with something I love. I either grow resentful, or burned out, or whatever. Even when I did a new song every week for a year while working full time, I needed to have some down time. Maybe that's just me and my personality, and maybe it's one of the many reasons I'm not rolling around in money a la Scrooge McDuck.
What I will do is try to balance what I think I need with what life seems to dictate. Honestly, that seems to be about the best that I can expect these days.
Y'all take care.