It’s been a little over two weeks since my last entry; sorry about that. I’ve just been busy.  As you might be able to guess, work continues on my audio book (finished chapter 11 today) and on One Man. One Voice. One Year (#OMOVOY).  I’ve posted 11 songs - I’ve counted 10 plus one bonus: Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” 

Yes, that song. 

No, I don’t like the tune. 

Then why did I do it? 

My new manager at work begins Friday meetings by playing the damn thing and singing along, and encouraging all in attendance to participate.  Granted, it’s a virtual meeting these days, but he started doing this before covid.  He’s a super nice guy and incredibly positive, so when he asked me if I’d do a version of it, I immediately said “not under any circumstances.” 

I changed my mind a few days later.  Why? 

Because the company is huge on company culture, and I would very much like this to be the last place I work.  Therefore, I’m really trying hard to fit in.  Even when it means recording a version of “Friday.”   

Could be my temperament is changing as I age, or maybe I learn from my experience.  My former mother in law would have loved for me to do an album’s worth of xmas music, and my ex asked me to do it a few times.  The last time didn’t result in an argument, but I made my feelings clear.  I said something like: 

“I have to eat shit and grin through most of my life.  My music is the one place I can do what I want, how I want, when I want, with no compromises.  Why would I do something I wouldn’t even want to listen to?”  

To her credit, she said she didn’t understand how opposed I was, and that she wouldn’t ask again.  And she didn’t.  But really.  Would it have killed me or hurt me in any way to do something that would have made my mother in law at the time happy?   

No.  And my ex’s parents were very good to me.  I don’t maintain a relationship with them, but they have good hearts.  Still, at the time, I meant what I said.  To a degree, I mean it still.  There is a difference between playing / recording one shitty song and doing the same with 10-12 songs.   

Oh, and I’m opposed to xmas music because I’m agnostic.  I hated xmas for many years for several valid reasons; it was only within the last 3 or 4 that I began to come around.  Still, recording songs that praise the son of god would be hypocritical at the very least.  I could have done non christian xmas songs, but I’m not a big fan of those either.  And it would have required significant time - learning, recording, editing...it took me about 8 months to record stuff for my last album, and I love that material.  Consider how much time I’d have to spend with material I don’t like.  There’s a reason I don’t play many covers, and will never be in a cover band.   

Yeah, there’s a big difference between one song and a full album.  If my new manager asks me to record an album’s worth of stuff I hate, I will refuse.  And not change my mind.   

That’s it for now.  Stay healthy and safe. 

I thought I’d start by talking about some non-musical stuff. 

I stumbled across a youtube video last night created by someone who totally hated the new Picard show; he thought it ruined the character.  What’s more, the comments were full of people who agreed!  I don’t get it. I truly don’t.  And that’s all the time I’m going to spend on it.   

I finally got Disney+ a few weeks ago.  The Madalorian was pretty good.  And, I didn’t know Disney owned National Geographic.  I guess it’s just a matter of time until everything lives in the House of Mouse.  I do like reliving my childhood on movies I don’t necessarily own, but still enjoy, along with newer classics, especially the Pixar stuff.  One pretty big fucking complaint.  They redubbed the voices of Darby and King Brian in Darby O’Gill and the Little People.  I checked online, and while there was no definitive answer, it was apparently done a few years ago because it was decided that a new audience may not be able to understand dialogue because of the accents. 

Terrible.  

On the upside, I wound up buying a DVD copy of the film on Amazon for less than $7, original voices intact.   

I just finished watching Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu.  Man.  Intense show full of horrible people.  Folks really ain’t never satisfied.   

#ONOVOY (One Man. One Voice. One Year) continues.  Link is on the left.  The most recent additions are Piece of the Moon and I’ll Be All Right.  The latter dates back to the mid 90s or so.   

I’ve finished eight chapters on Eyes in my Dream, and will probably start editing chapter 9 tonight.   

Finally, it’s interesting to watch this whole COVID-19 thing from a distance.  So to speak.  Meaning I’m not paying that much attention.  I’m happy to work from home, but aside from that and the dog parks being closed, my life isn’t much different.   

From my perspective, for the most part, people got on board with this pretty early, and largely went along with the whole shelter in place thing with minimal complaint, besides hoarding.  Now the backlash seems to have started. People are protesting the idea of being forced to stay home, saying it’s a violation of their rights.   

They have a point. 

And that’s the issue. Where is the line between a loss of liberties and the interest of public safety?  I’ve gone along with it, but again, it’s not like life has been that different for me. I’ve even had a few female visitors, so I’ve managed to have physical needs met from time to time. So...in that sense, I have violated the shelter in place rule.   

I have NOT protested publicly and obstructed the paths of others either going to work or doing their work.  That’s rather fucked up. 

Yet again, I think they have a point.  At the very least, they have the right to speak up, though probably not to fuck up everyone else’s schedule.  Well, maybe they do have that right, but they shouldn’t be dicks about it. 

I don’t know where the line between public safety and private liberty is.  I do know that the loss of any freedom, regardless of the reason, worries me.  It’s a slippery slope.  I also know the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (thank you, Spock).  And, I still think the whole thing is overblown.   

Still, I did make one change.  Since moving back to Tempe, I’ve visited my mom in CA every month.  I didn’t go last month, and I probably won’t until this is over.  Why not?  Because apparently, this thing isn’t fatal to people my age, but it does kick our ass.  I’d rather not go through it.  If I had it, was asymptomatic, and gave it to her, it might kill her.  That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.  Thankfully, she agrees. 

I guess that’s MY line.  

Y’all be good.  Stay healthy and safe. 

Work work work work work.  Work is a good thing.   

I don’t necessarily mean my day job, but it’s actually solid. No, I mean working on creative things to not only fulfill my artistic needs, but to keep myself occupied as well.   

I suspect this whole social distancing thing is easier on me than most.  I grew up the only child of a single parent, and a minority in my hometown.  I was a smart kid (and I’m a pretty smart man, most of the time), and that further isolated me from my peers.  But, I was big enough to avoid being bullied most of time, so that wasn’t too much of an issue.  

I’m not saying this to whine about my childhood; it was pretty good, overall.  No, I’m saying this because aside from having female company, my life in the midst of COVID-19 is pretty much the same as it was.  There are a couple of exceptions; my dojo was ordered to close by the city of Tempe, and the city also closed their dog parks. Besides those three things and working from home, my life hasn’t changed much.  I’m not aching to be out with friends, or go to a bar, or a party, or anything else like that. Yes, there were some concerts cancelled I hoped to attend, but that’s about it.   

Essentially, I’ve been training for this “shelter in place” thing for most of my life.  I’m rarely bored, and never so much so that I feel the need to post notes online saying so.  When I’m not working the job that pays my bills, I’m relaxing and watching something on one of the streaming services I use, until I decide it’s time to work on my creative outlets.  I created a schedule to help ensure I make reasonable use of my time. I don’t stick to it religiously, but it has helped. I’ve finished 6 chapters of my audio book, and need to edit chapter 7.  I’m more than ⅓ of the way through. It’s a pretty big accomplishment, considering I started this...well, I’m not sure how long ago. A few years. I’ve rewritten it at least three times, shopped for an agent, got nothing, and finally decided to self publish.  Now I’m pretty close to finishing.   

Feels good. 

I’m also a few videos ahead on One Man. One Voice. One Year (OMOVOY).  That’s good for a few reasons. It allows me to practice on songs that need it, it removes some of the stress associated with any deadline, and it presents the possibility of writing new material.  I don’t know that I will, but I can feel the beginnings of at least two lyrical ideas. That’s often where songs start for me. Then it becomes a matter of discipline; working an idea until I have something I like.   

That’s it for now.  Oh, I posted “The Ballad of Papa Chuck” yesterday morning, and I may post my first cover song for OMOVOY on Wed.  

Be good; stay safe and healthy.

Song #2 for One Man. One Voice. One Year. is up; head on over to my YouTube channel or click the link on the left. The tune is “Talk is Cheap” and it’s an alternate version to what was released 3/1/20 on Words, Music, and Pain.   

The song is about some of the things I went through and learned in relationships as a young man.  I may have a smidgen of wisdom on that topic. Of course, I’m in the midst of a divorce at 50, so clearly, I don’t know what the fuck works.  

Not that I’m bitter or anything.   

I have three other videos ready, so I’m going to release a bonus song on Wednesday.  I’m committed to at least one a week, but I’m going to try and add material midweek when I’m able. So far, so good. 

I finished recording and editing Chapter 5 of my book this week.   

It seems like I never progress as quickly on anything as I’d like, and that’s all on me.  But I *am* making progress, and that’s important. Even if I never achieve any kind of real success with my music or my book(s?), being creative is vitally important to me.  I’ve tried to quit making music at least three times in my life, and it’s never worked. I became more miserable, which is saying something. So, I keep at it, for better or worse. 

And yes, I’m foolish/optimistic enough to hope good things will happen.  The only way I know to guarantee that they won’t is to not try. 

That’s it for now.  Be good. Stay healthy and safe. 

One Man. One Voice. One Year. 

It has begun.  The first video has been posted and that version of "Beauty of Our Lives" is available on your favorite music service.

I've committed to doing at least one video a year; first one went live on 3/29/20.  The plan is to have something up no later than 11:59p every Sunday for 52 weeks.  I expect to slide in additional videos during the week from to time, but first I want to have a buffer of material ready to go, just in case something happens.  

You know.  Like I catch covid-19 and die.  Or something.

Yeah, I still think this whole thing is overblown, but I'm CLEARLY in the minority, and that's fine.  I'm used to it.  I've said (on FB, I think) we're two or three steps away from looting and rioting in the street - now I'd say one or two steps.  The governor of AZ has issued a stay at home order, but it doesn't have any real teeth.  I don't see any language about penalties, and it says "No person shall be required to provide documentation or proof of their activities to justify their activities under this order."

So, I'm being told to stay at home except for when I have to conduct essential activities.  But if I don't, there's no penalty, and no one legally ask me to prove why I'm out.

That's ok by me.  At least no one will ask to see my papers.  We ain't the former East Germany yet.  

Work continues on my book.  I have four chapters done, and I'm going to work on chapter five after I post this. 

Stay healthy and safe. 

Nope.   

Don’t wanna do it. 

Don’t wanna talk about COVID-19 or the possibility that our Constitutional rights may be in jeopardy.  So I’m just going to move on to something positive. 

One Man. One Voice. One Year. has begun.  I technically have two videos just about ready to go, and the audio for one is already available on at least three streaming services.  Oddly enough, it’s the second song I submitted to Distrokid. I have no idea why it somehow got out ahead of the first song, but I’m not going to sweat it.  I’ve decided I want to have a buffer of sorts. I intend to release one video and song a week, but considering I have very little control over when the songs are actually available for purchase or streaming, I want to have two or three on standby.  There’s also a chance I may do more than one a week. 

It’s interesting to watch myself on video.  It makes me more aware of how I look when I perform - and it is a performance, right?  I can’t just sit there and look like some kind of robot; there has to be facial expression and some body language.  While I haven’t discarded any takes based solely on video presentation, I can see where I might.   

The first song will be “Beauty of Our LIves” which was part of Twenty Aught Eight and was originally released on 3/24/08.  I’ve always loved the song, and I really like the new version.   

Second will be “Talk is Cheap.”  The original version just came out on “Words, Music, and Pain.” I intend to include an arrangement like the one you’ll see soon on the album, but I decided the recording could be better.   

Third will be “One Last Time,” which was part of “Here I Stand” in 2004, and redone for “My Blues” in 2007.  I consider this one of my signature songs, and it will probably always be part of my repertoire.   

After that?  I don’t know.  It’s not like I have a shortage of material.  I do have a list of songs I want to relearn before I start gigging again; that will probably be my guide.     

I've also started the audio for my book. Two chapters are done. 

That’s it for now. Be good, stay healthy, safe, and be kind to others during this difficult time. 

The coronavirus has accomplished what terrorists couldn’t. 

Think about that for a second. 

As I type this, the San Francisco area has a “shelter in place” order. 

Businesses are shutting down.  Sports leagues are ending their seasons.  Disneyland is closed. Artistic performances of all kinds are being cancelled or postponed.  Toilet paper - fucking TOILET PAPER - is being hoarded (I truly don’t understand why).   

All of these things are unprecedented in my lifetime.   

I wonder how much of the hysteria and the reaction of people in general and our various governments has been affected by the news cycle and the instant connection to information provided by the internet.  If the same disease popped up 10 years ago, would we have the same reaction? What about 20 years ago? 30? 40? 50? I highly doubt it. And I don’t know if that’s good or bad. 

I do know this whole thing feels overblown to me.  The only thing that gives me pause is the fact (?) that one can carry the virus, show no symptoms, and pass it along to others.  If true, that almost makes this whole mess seem reasonable.  

Almost. 

I had another thought about this whole thing.   

If one believes, as I do, that the truly elite (the most wealthy) in this world run it, then one must assume they have a way to control the masses.  Religion used to be a huge go to. Television has been. Printed words before that. Internet now; social media and engineering. Some of these tools were once thought to help free us from tyranny, and in some ways, they still do.   

But I don’t think anyone can reasonably deny the negative effect the internet can have, especially social media.  It gives the worst of us - and the worst in us - a voice, but at this point, it’s a bit like throwing a grain of sand in the desert.  Everyone has a voice, so in some ways, no one does.   

However, most of us access it regularly for various reasons.   

Whoever controls information potentially controls reality.  

What if - just, what if - all of this is an exercise to see how the public responds?  Or to see how easily we submit to orders which completely ignore or curtail our basic freedoms?  I’m not saying this is the case, nor am I saying no one is getting sick.   

But, the conspiracy theorist in me wonders.  My suspicious nature allows the question to rise in my mind.   

Does that even matter? 

Not really.  It’s not like I’m going to openly defy the government unless I have some need I consider urgent.  It’s not like I’m going to fight against something that seems to be in the public health’s best interest.   

And I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories; I’m sure they’re blossoming.  

And yet, I can’t help but wonder what’s really happening.  I suppose it could be exactly as it appears, in which case, we’re gearing up for interesting times.   

But still...the most binding chains are the ones we don’t even know exist.  

Yeah, yeah. I’m full of shit.   

On to brighter topics.  Words, Music, and Pain is out and available wherever you stream or download music.   

My next musical project will be called “One Man. One Voice. One Year.”  I’ll post a video where I perform a song by myself every week for a year.  I’ll be doing mostly my own material, though a few cover tunes may sneak in there.  I suspect I’ll post my first video this Sunday 3/22/20, but I may wait until 3/29/20.  I’ll make that decision soon.   

I’m also going to start the audio for my book this week.  I have no idea how long it will take, but it needs to get done.   

That’s it for now.  Be good. Stay healthy.  Physically and mentally. 

“Words, Music, and Pain” is available for streaming and download: 

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/toddlorenz/words-music-and-pain 

More stores should be added to that page as they carry the album.  I do know it’s also live on Google Play right now: 

https://play.google.com/music/m/Bywf4tc5jwbmoomwosxddp5fygm?t=Words_Music_and_Pain_-_Todd_Lorenz 

Buy it. Download it. Enjoy it.  Review it. Tell your friends. Give it as a gift. I love these songs, and I’d also like to make some money from them.  Truly, I would. I’ve invested a lot of time into this project; it would be nice to get something back.   

A friend, Erik Jensen, did the cover art for me.  I love it. He also took a number of pictures I’ll be using on this website and for my next project, and I’m pretty sure he’ll be doing the cover for my book.  Many thanks to him. I can’t currently afford to pay him, but he has requested some guitar lessons. I’m more than happy with that trade.   

As I’ve discussed here, this album was a long time coming.  Initially, I hoped to have it ready and have a release party at Wild Hog of the Woods in Madison, WI on my 50th birthday - 8/09/19.  Yup. August of last year. There was one major problem; the venue doesn’t operate in August. It’s part of their off season. They kick things off in September.  But, it was for the best. There’s no way the songs would have sounded like they do now, and I’m pretty damn happy with all of them.   

Life works out.  Sometimes. Even when shit happens that’s painful. 

I may know a thing or two about that. 

This week or next, I start recording the audio for my book and my next musical project.  More to come on it shortly.

Work continues on the new songs. 

Yeah, I know.  Big shocker. 

I reached out to a local friend - Howie Kolb - for some feedback on my most recent mixes/mastering attempts.  Sometimes fresh ears can help. His did. He offered some wonderful thoughts on how to improve the overall sound.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I want to give myself a day or two away from the material, then listen again on different sources.  I listened some today wearing headphones at work and on my car stereo. I think some of the songs ARE ready, but some need some gentle tweaking. Nothing drastic, and everything sounds much better than it did back when I thought I was done the first time. 

So, while this has taken significantly longer than i would’ve preferred, it’s been a valuable learning experience.  So I got that going for me.  

However, there’s a reason my next musical project is me singing unaccompanied and doing one take videos - music production is not my favorite aspect of making music.  Making music is my favorite part of...well, making music. Writing and performing, and I’m not sure which is better. Arranging is a distant third, followed by recording, and then mixing/mastering.  Honestly, I could live without ever doing the latter myself again, but I’m fairly sure it won’t go that way. 

On the non-musical front, I had to have a tooth pulled Friday.  It required oral surgery, and I caught a cold or the flu about the same time.  May have been at the oral surgeons office, but I’ll never know for sure. I also have at least two cavities that need attention sooner rather than later, and there was a third problem I can’t recall.  The tooth had to come out because it was loose, and I wasn’t going to wait for it to pop out on its own and have an exposed nerve. 

No fucking way. 

On the plus side, I have a great dental plan. Even so, I paid $362, and after the fact, they said it should have been more, but they did something wrong.  Still, we signed paperwork, so they didn’t charge me the extra. That’s great and all, but I suspect they’re still not biling properly. I’ll check my claim online at some point.  I am DEFINITELY going to insist they preauthorize any further work; I’m not having any confusion when it comes to how much it will cost. I’m not exactly rolling in money.   

That’s it for now. Be good.  

The new songs are not mixed and mastered properly yet, but I think I’m pretty close.  I have 3 left, but two of them are just guitar and vocals, and therefore easy to finish.  With any luck, I’ll finish tonight. Then I just need to find time to listen to them - yet again - on a few different mediums.  Different headphones, my receiver, my car. Probably the speaker on my phone too.   

The bass was too loud and too...well, present...in the last mix.  I hope to have remedied that by lowering it in the mix and tweaking the equalizer settings a bit.  I cut out some of the low frequencies to get rid of excessive thumping, for lack of a better word. As a former bass player, it’s a bit difficult, but the songs are being featured - not any particular instrument.  That means the voice has to be front and center (but not overpowering) and guitars are next in line. Drums and bass are last. That’s just how it is.   

I know I keep talking about how I want to finish these songs and move on, but the recording and mixing process has been especially difficult this time.  Why? Mainly because I have higher expectations. I realized that the last few collections recorded on my Mac weren’t mastered properly. They’re mixed ok, so that’s something.  But when I compare the overall sound to that of my favorite artists, it just wasn’t close. I won’t quite be there once I’m done with Words, Music, and Pain, but I’m much closer.   

Live and learn. 

I’m going to wrap this up now so I can get to work on those songs.  Hopefully I’ll be promoting their release this time next week.   

Be good.