I know, I know.  It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled. 

No, wait...that’s not quite right.   

It’s been a long time since my last blog entry.  Yeah, that’s what I meant.  A few things have happened since my last Thoughts page.   

I moved into a new apartment.  There wasn’t anything wrong with the last place; it was just too expensive, and when the lease came up for renewal, they wanted to increase the rent by about $90.  Nope.  It was a nice apartment and I really liked the location, but I was spending too much. I took it at the end of Nov 2019 for a couple of reasons. 

First, I was just about done with a bankruptcy.  It hadn’t been discharged yet, so most places wouldn’t even consider me.  After speaking with me and checking whatever he wanted to check, the owner decided he would rent to me.  That was important. 

Second, the location was almost perfect.  Less than a 15 minute drive to work, my dojo and two dog parks within about 10 minutes, and about 15 minutes to my best friend’s place.  Yeah, it was under the flight path of the airport, but that wasn’t much of a problem.   

But again, too expensive.  As I found out when I went looking for a new place, living in Tempe is more costly.  After a couple of false starts, I found my current rental.  It’s a two bedroom standalone bungalow (in a group of two rows of three) near 12th St and Camelback in Phoenix.  A little further away from my job, but I’m working from home until at least July, and it seems likely that will become a permanent option.  There are two dog parks 10-15 minutes away, depending on traffic.  My best friend is probably about 20-30 minutes away.  But, I’m no longer in the flight path of the airport, and the neighborhood is very quiet.  However, my car insurance jumped up a bit, and I understand why.  There is a lot more traffic in this area.  And, the place is actually a little smaller than my last one; I was hoping to find something a touch bigger.   

But, ultimately, I like this cottage better. I have a little back yard for my dog, which is nice.  I still walk him and/or take him to the dog park every day (except some Sundays) because it’s important, but it’s convenient being able to let him out without having to leash and walk him.  Overall, it just feels more like a home.  My home.  I hope to be here for a long time.   

A HUGE thanks to my friends who helped me move.  It was a tremendous help. 

#OMOVOY continues.  I’m enjoying it.   

I’m pretty sure my next book will be “The Life and Times of Snuffy Wilson.”  Yes, I have an album by that name.   The book will use that collection of songs as inspiration, but I don’t think I’ll start writing (again - I started once briefly years ago) until #OMOVOY is complete.  

The audio book for “The Eyes In My Dream” has been released.  You can find a link in the table of contents of this site, or here.   

Bye Trump.  Thanks for playing. 

Happy Holidays to all.  

Well.  Check this out.  I wrote and released a book. 

“The Eyes In My Dream” took me 5-6 years from start to finish. I discuss the process a little on the book’s page; click on the link in the website’s table of contents.   

The audio version is currently going through audible.com’s approval process.  Assuming no hiccups, it should be available by 10/4/20.   

I’m probably going to make a print on demand version available; I plan to take a closer look at what’s involved later today. 

One Man. One Voice. One Year. #OMOVOY continues.  I’m releasing original songs on Sundays and cover tunes on Wednesdays.  I hope to keep that formula for the rest of the project’s duration - last video will be 3/28/21.   

I’m going to write another book.  As I type this, I don’t know what it will be, but I have a few thoughts.  I could revisit one of the characters from “The Eyes In My Dream.”  I think I could do a series of books based around one of them.  I could also write something to go with “The Life and Times of Snuffy Wilson.”  I actually started at least twice before abandoning it.   

I don’t have any other ideas at the moment, and I’m not sure when I’ll start.  I did just release something after all, and it’s not like I don’t have things to occupy my time.   

Oh, I did have a sort of close call with the audio book. I’ve done a few now, so I’ve developed a process. I usually read through / record a chapter, then go back and edit it - meaning I redo anything that’s necessary, remove mistakes or choose the best takes, etc.  I’ll usually do a separate track for each page.  It turns out I hadn’t edited the last couple of pages.  I damn near put it out that way.  

Oops. 

Thankfully, I caught it, and only did so because I wanted to add the chapter titles to the audio version.   

I know I haven’t kept up on my blog consistently, and I should.  I just don’t always have much to say.  Or, I do, but don’t feel like saying it publicly.   

That’s it for now.  Be good. 

It’s been some time since my last post.   I tend to get caught up with things I prioritize, and my blog is fairly low on the list.  Go figure.  But, I have a few thoughts to share. 

ACAB (all cops are bastards) has sprung up in the wake of BLM (black lives matter) and the movement to defund police.   

Is anyone else amused and saddened by the fucking irony?   

Isn’t lumping all of a group of people into a single category pretty much the same as racism?  

I’m sure there are plenty of dirty and crooked cops.  I’m also sure there are plenty of good ones who try to do the best job they can every day.  They’re human beings.  They’re fallible.  They’re also not all the fucking same.  And yet, there seems to be a growing number of people who hate all cops.  Fucking stupid.  

I need to have my teeth cleaned; my insurance will cover it.  I also need two more root canals; my insurance will cover part of it.  Take care of your teeth, kids.   

At one point, I firmly believed the world was overreacting to covid.  Now I’m not so sure.  Masks seem to be required in just about any enclosed public setting, and I get it.  I still FUCKING HATE wearing one because I get claustrophobic any time my face is covered.  However, I have a face shield, and wearing it is no problem.  Obscures my vision a bit, but I’ll take that over the normal mask every time. 

My book should be published shortly.  I’m just waiting on the cover art.   

That’s it for now.  Be good.  Stay healthy and safe. 

Man.  

Covid is apparently kicking the shit out of AZ.  I say “apparently” because I don’t know anyone who’s had it, but if the numbers being broadcast can be believed, it’s worse now than ever.   

Am I still skeptical? 

I suppose it depends on how you define that word.  Either this thing is very real, or this is one hell of a hoax.  I’ve never disputed its reality; I just thought the reaction was overblown.  Was I wrong?  Maybe.  I don’t know for sure.  I do think part of the problem is our weakened immune system; it needs something to fight and develop so that when something tougher comes along, it’s up to the challenge.   

When I was growing up, hand sanitizer wasn’t a thing.  Good hygiene was enough.  Does/did it do some good?   I suppose so.  And clearly, our immune system alone isn’t enough.  We have all sorts of vaccines that help us grow up healthy (hopefully).  So, maybe I’m entirely fucking wrong.  I used the word “think” for a reason. 

I continue to make music.  It’s part of what I do.  Giant part of who I am.  I’ve also finished the audio for my book, so I’m just waiting on cover art from a friend, and then my literary genius shall be unleashed unto the world!!!   

Heh. 

That’s it for now.  Be good. 

Our country appears to be in a state of social upheaval.  Oddly enough, I’ve written a relevant song.  It was initially inspired by an acquaintance’s encounter with racism, and further tempered by recent events.  The title is self explanatory. 

Fuck racism. 

Seems like an appropriate use of the word “fuck.”   

I thought it was important to share sooner rather than later.  Most of the lyrics were written last year (I figured they’d surface at some point), but I stumbled across the groove yesterday. The song came together quickly.  I didn’t expect to post it today; figured it would need at least a week or two of woodshedding.  But, I decided to give it a shot today, and you can see the result.  It’s very raw, the performance isn’t perfect, and it’s possible the arrangement may need tweaking. 

But I think it works.   

I ran it by a friend of mine.  He agreed it was appropriate for its inspiration and the state of social unrest. 

I’d say enjoy it, but that doesn’t quite feel right.   

I’ve decided to try and do a few more cover songs.  Stay tuned for those over the coming weeks. 

That’s it for now.  Take care.  Stay healthy and safe. 

It’s been a little over two weeks since my last entry; sorry about that. I’ve just been busy.  As you might be able to guess, work continues on my audio book (finished chapter 11 today) and on One Man. One Voice. One Year (#OMOVOY).  I’ve posted 11 songs - I’ve counted 10 plus one bonus: Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” 

Yes, that song. 

No, I don’t like the tune. 

Then why did I do it? 

My new manager at work begins Friday meetings by playing the damn thing and singing along, and encouraging all in attendance to participate.  Granted, it’s a virtual meeting these days, but he started doing this before covid.  He’s a super nice guy and incredibly positive, so when he asked me if I’d do a version of it, I immediately said “not under any circumstances.” 

I changed my mind a few days later.  Why? 

Because the company is huge on company culture, and I would very much like this to be the last place I work.  Therefore, I’m really trying hard to fit in.  Even when it means recording a version of “Friday.”   

Could be my temperament is changing as I age, or maybe I learn from my experience.  My former mother in law would have loved for me to do an album’s worth of xmas music, and my ex asked me to do it a few times.  The last time didn’t result in an argument, but I made my feelings clear.  I said something like: 

“I have to eat shit and grin through most of my life.  My music is the one place I can do what I want, how I want, when I want, with no compromises.  Why would I do something I wouldn’t even want to listen to?”  

To her credit, she said she didn’t understand how opposed I was, and that she wouldn’t ask again.  And she didn’t.  But really.  Would it have killed me or hurt me in any way to do something that would have made my mother in law at the time happy?   

No.  And my ex’s parents were very good to me.  I don’t maintain a relationship with them, but they have good hearts.  Still, at the time, I meant what I said.  To a degree, I mean it still.  There is a difference between playing / recording one shitty song and doing the same with 10-12 songs.   

Oh, and I’m opposed to xmas music because I’m agnostic.  I hated xmas for many years for several valid reasons; it was only within the last 3 or 4 that I began to come around.  Still, recording songs that praise the son of god would be hypocritical at the very least.  I could have done non christian xmas songs, but I’m not a big fan of those either.  And it would have required significant time - learning, recording, editing...it took me about 8 months to record stuff for my last album, and I love that material.  Consider how much time I’d have to spend with material I don’t like.  There’s a reason I don’t play many covers, and will never be in a cover band.   

Yeah, there’s a big difference between one song and a full album.  If my new manager asks me to record an album’s worth of stuff I hate, I will refuse.  And not change my mind.   

That’s it for now.  Stay healthy and safe. 

I thought I’d start by talking about some non-musical stuff. 

I stumbled across a youtube video last night created by someone who totally hated the new Picard show; he thought it ruined the character.  What’s more, the comments were full of people who agreed!  I don’t get it. I truly don’t.  And that’s all the time I’m going to spend on it.   

I finally got Disney+ a few weeks ago.  The Madalorian was pretty good.  And, I didn’t know Disney owned National Geographic.  I guess it’s just a matter of time until everything lives in the House of Mouse.  I do like reliving my childhood on movies I don’t necessarily own, but still enjoy, along with newer classics, especially the Pixar stuff.  One pretty big fucking complaint.  They redubbed the voices of Darby and King Brian in Darby O’Gill and the Little People.  I checked online, and while there was no definitive answer, it was apparently done a few years ago because it was decided that a new audience may not be able to understand dialogue because of the accents. 

Terrible.  

On the upside, I wound up buying a DVD copy of the film on Amazon for less than $7, original voices intact.   

I just finished watching Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu.  Man.  Intense show full of horrible people.  Folks really ain’t never satisfied.   

#ONOVOY (One Man. One Voice. One Year) continues.  Link is on the left.  The most recent additions are Piece of the Moon and I’ll Be All Right.  The latter dates back to the mid 90s or so.   

I’ve finished eight chapters on Eyes in my Dream, and will probably start editing chapter 9 tonight.   

Finally, it’s interesting to watch this whole COVID-19 thing from a distance.  So to speak.  Meaning I’m not paying that much attention.  I’m happy to work from home, but aside from that and the dog parks being closed, my life isn’t much different.   

From my perspective, for the most part, people got on board with this pretty early, and largely went along with the whole shelter in place thing with minimal complaint, besides hoarding.  Now the backlash seems to have started. People are protesting the idea of being forced to stay home, saying it’s a violation of their rights.   

They have a point. 

And that’s the issue. Where is the line between a loss of liberties and the interest of public safety?  I’ve gone along with it, but again, it’s not like life has been that different for me. I’ve even had a few female visitors, so I’ve managed to have physical needs met from time to time. So...in that sense, I have violated the shelter in place rule.   

I have NOT protested publicly and obstructed the paths of others either going to work or doing their work.  That’s rather fucked up. 

Yet again, I think they have a point.  At the very least, they have the right to speak up, though probably not to fuck up everyone else’s schedule.  Well, maybe they do have that right, but they shouldn’t be dicks about it. 

I don’t know where the line between public safety and private liberty is.  I do know that the loss of any freedom, regardless of the reason, worries me.  It’s a slippery slope.  I also know the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (thank you, Spock).  And, I still think the whole thing is overblown.   

Still, I did make one change.  Since moving back to Tempe, I’ve visited my mom in CA every month.  I didn’t go last month, and I probably won’t until this is over.  Why not?  Because apparently, this thing isn’t fatal to people my age, but it does kick our ass.  I’d rather not go through it.  If I had it, was asymptomatic, and gave it to her, it might kill her.  That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.  Thankfully, she agrees. 

I guess that’s MY line.  

Y’all be good.  Stay healthy and safe. 

Work work work work work.  Work is a good thing.   

I don’t necessarily mean my day job, but it’s actually solid. No, I mean working on creative things to not only fulfill my artistic needs, but to keep myself occupied as well.   

I suspect this whole social distancing thing is easier on me than most.  I grew up the only child of a single parent, and a minority in my hometown.  I was a smart kid (and I’m a pretty smart man, most of the time), and that further isolated me from my peers.  But, I was big enough to avoid being bullied most of time, so that wasn’t too much of an issue.  

I’m not saying this to whine about my childhood; it was pretty good, overall.  No, I’m saying this because aside from having female company, my life in the midst of COVID-19 is pretty much the same as it was.  There are a couple of exceptions; my dojo was ordered to close by the city of Tempe, and the city also closed their dog parks. Besides those three things and working from home, my life hasn’t changed much.  I’m not aching to be out with friends, or go to a bar, or a party, or anything else like that. Yes, there were some concerts cancelled I hoped to attend, but that’s about it.   

Essentially, I’ve been training for this “shelter in place” thing for most of my life.  I’m rarely bored, and never so much so that I feel the need to post notes online saying so.  When I’m not working the job that pays my bills, I’m relaxing and watching something on one of the streaming services I use, until I decide it’s time to work on my creative outlets.  I created a schedule to help ensure I make reasonable use of my time. I don’t stick to it religiously, but it has helped. I’ve finished 6 chapters of my audio book, and need to edit chapter 7.  I’m more than ⅓ of the way through. It’s a pretty big accomplishment, considering I started this...well, I’m not sure how long ago. A few years. I’ve rewritten it at least three times, shopped for an agent, got nothing, and finally decided to self publish.  Now I’m pretty close to finishing.   

Feels good. 

I’m also a few videos ahead on One Man. One Voice. One Year (OMOVOY).  That’s good for a few reasons. It allows me to practice on songs that need it, it removes some of the stress associated with any deadline, and it presents the possibility of writing new material.  I don’t know that I will, but I can feel the beginnings of at least two lyrical ideas. That’s often where songs start for me. Then it becomes a matter of discipline; working an idea until I have something I like.   

That’s it for now.  Oh, I posted “The Ballad of Papa Chuck” yesterday morning, and I may post my first cover song for OMOVOY on Wed.  

Be good; stay safe and healthy.

Song #2 for One Man. One Voice. One Year. is up; head on over to my YouTube channel or click the link on the left. The tune is “Talk is Cheap” and it’s an alternate version to what was released 3/1/20 on Words, Music, and Pain.   

The song is about some of the things I went through and learned in relationships as a young man.  I may have a smidgen of wisdom on that topic. Of course, I’m in the midst of a divorce at 50, so clearly, I don’t know what the fuck works.  

Not that I’m bitter or anything.   

I have three other videos ready, so I’m going to release a bonus song on Wednesday.  I’m committed to at least one a week, but I’m going to try and add material midweek when I’m able. So far, so good. 

I finished recording and editing Chapter 5 of my book this week.   

It seems like I never progress as quickly on anything as I’d like, and that’s all on me.  But I *am* making progress, and that’s important. Even if I never achieve any kind of real success with my music or my book(s?), being creative is vitally important to me.  I’ve tried to quit making music at least three times in my life, and it’s never worked. I became more miserable, which is saying something. So, I keep at it, for better or worse. 

And yes, I’m foolish/optimistic enough to hope good things will happen.  The only way I know to guarantee that they won’t is to not try. 

That’s it for now.  Be good. Stay healthy and safe. 

One Man. One Voice. One Year. 

It has begun.  The first video has been posted and that version of "Beauty of Our Lives" is available on your favorite music service.

I've committed to doing at least one video a year; first one went live on 3/29/20.  The plan is to have something up no later than 11:59p every Sunday for 52 weeks.  I expect to slide in additional videos during the week from to time, but first I want to have a buffer of material ready to go, just in case something happens.  

You know.  Like I catch covid-19 and die.  Or something.

Yeah, I still think this whole thing is overblown, but I'm CLEARLY in the minority, and that's fine.  I'm used to it.  I've said (on FB, I think) we're two or three steps away from looting and rioting in the street - now I'd say one or two steps.  The governor of AZ has issued a stay at home order, but it doesn't have any real teeth.  I don't see any language about penalties, and it says "No person shall be required to provide documentation or proof of their activities to justify their activities under this order."

So, I'm being told to stay at home except for when I have to conduct essential activities.  But if I don't, there's no penalty, and no one legally ask me to prove why I'm out.

That's ok by me.  At least no one will ask to see my papers.  We ain't the former East Germany yet.  

Work continues on my book.  I have four chapters done, and I'm going to work on chapter five after I post this. 

Stay healthy and safe.